Sail Away My Love
by Denelle Marshall
Summary: Storybrooke is no longer safe for Henry. Regina's POV while watching those she loves sail away.


Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own OUAT. To even think I did would be silly.

A/N: This is my very first fanfiction ever. I am not sure where this story came from but it wouldn't leave me alone. It was much better in my head than how it came out. I apologize for not having a Beta. I wouldn't even know who to ask. Please be gentle with me. I don't mind helpful criticism but just telling me I suck will not help. Thank you!

A/N 2:_ Italics = __ flashback_

She is standing on the pier watching everything that means anything to her sail away on the Jolly Roger. It seems fitting that when the boat first sailed into Storybrooke it carried on it the makings of yet another shattered heart, and now in its final departure it will obliterate it. She wonders if she were to pull her heart out of her chest a moment before the ship hits the horizon and fades if she would see it just vanish, much in the same way that everyone she has ever loved has. In the same morbid strain she imagines what her heart would look like in the seconds before vanishing, surely by now it must resemble glass that has been glued back together multiple times. Maybe the first few times there were only a few breaks to glue, but by now she is sure that there are gaps caused by those incredibly small pieces that could never be found, and oh so many cracks. So many cracks she would be willing to bet the act of just touching it would make it crumble apart into shards so small no magnifying glass could find them.

"_You could come with us," Emma sighs. _

_Regina hates the way the words come out of the Sheriffs mouth, pained and a little lost. Like an unsure child who wants to beg but is afraid of the consequences. She is reminded of Emma Swan, bad ass, chainsaw wielding, bounty hunter. The woman who swooped into this town unsure of where she came from but oh so sure of herself. Sure enough to throw Regina's world back into motion. Confident enough to make The Evil Queen throw up every barrier, pull out every magic trick, go so far as to try to poison her, because she just knows that she will fall for her. And if Regina's mother taught her one thing it was too much love will only get you another grave marker to mourn at and another round of trying to jam mismatched puzzle pieces of your heart back together._

_The irony of it all crushes Regina a bit. Now that Emma knows where she came from she is oh so unsure of herself. Trying so hard to please everyone. Emma we need our savior cry the townsfolk; Emma we need our daughter cry the idiots; Emma I need you to never lie to me, but yet you can't tell me the truth about some things cause I am just too damn young to really hear about them and besides don't you know that Neal is the bees knees? Cries Henry. Everybody just takes and takes from her and Emma, in the Product of True Love fashion, just gives and gives and gives. In the end how could she not have lost her sense of self?_

"_No." Regina replies. _

_Gone are the days of fighting and striving and clawing to get her happy ending. All she ever got was more missing splinters of her heart and a great big damn headache. She knows she will pay for it in more heartbreak to stay but isn't it better to get it all over and done with in one go? Could she really handle watching the new happy family day in and day out, waiting for table scraps of affection from Henry and those fleeting glances of fire from Emma? That would be a slow break and no, she just can't sign up for it._

"_For fucks sake Regina, what about Henry?" Emma spits out._

_Regina almost smiles at that. Sometimes spit fire Emma comes out to play, but only around Regina, and God damn if that doesn't make her love Emma even more._

"_Language Miss Swan," Regina grates out for old times sake, because she knows she's not the only one trying to cling to something well-known, but she is just too damn tired to keep up the charade. So in her new broken voice, "I am worn thin by one-sided love. It just fucking hurts."_

"_He loves you Regina. I know he does. He's just a kid and bad about showing it."_

_Regina is thankful that it flies over Emma's head that it wasn't just Henry she was talking about. She is pretty sure that it would somehow just hurt all the more if she ever spoke of her love for Emma out loud in declarative fashion, so she won't speak it. Not now, not ever._

"_I love him more than anything Ms. Swan, but he doesn't need me anymore. He has both you and Neal. He even gets his beloved charming grandparents. I would just be in the way, and I just can't. He needs to go though. It is too dangerous here for him now. Too many cut throats out for magic. Why everyone feels the need to target Henry to get to me I don't know. It's better this way, if I followed then the cycle would repeat in the new land. Your magic isn't dark like mine Emma it won't draw all the villains to you."_

_Regina noticed the shocked look on Emma's face when she slipped up and said her name. Oh well it can't be taken back and it wasn't like she shouted I love you or anything. However, Regina is stretching her limits. She knows if she stands here with Emma standing at her door much longer she will throw herself to the wolves and cave in. Cave in and just sail away to Never Land with them. Slip back into darkness as she silently yearns for all she can't have. She has to end this now._

"_Do you have anything more to say Miss Swan?"_

_There is a pained look like Emma might say something but the silence shines through._

"_I thought not. You better hurry away Sheriff . Get some rest you have a big day of sailing tomorrow."_

_With that Regina closes her door and leans back against it. Her brittle heart hammering hard in her chest with each foot step of Emma walking away._

Regina shoves her hands in her pockets because the thought of ripping her heart out and letting it crumble to dust before the ship fades and rips it asunder more is so very tempting. Her hand rubs against something. Pulling it out of her pocket she sees a piece of paper and panics. She thought she had slipped this into Emma's jacket pocket while everyone was saying their goodbyes. She had wanted Emma to know that she was loved even if she could never have said it.

Opening the note expecting to see her own writing staring at her she instantly feels a stab in her gut as Emma's scrawl makes itself known.

Regina,

I am writing this because you should know, that even though you care nothing for me, I love you. I have for a long time now. I sail away for Henry, to keep him safe. I sail with Neal to keep Henry happy. But oh Regina if I could go back to being that orphan with free will and no responsibilities, with a deep fire for a hellion of a mayor, I would. I would have found the chance to make you love me too. I would have made us a family.

Emma

Regina doesn't know that at that very same moment Emma is reading her letter, but in that brief moment before the ship ghosts away once more into just fantasy, every soul can hear the achingly tormented sound of two already shattered hearts break apart even more.


End file.
